What does it really take to find and keep a good relationship?

A happy, loving relationship has little to do with luck, and a lot to do with you. Yes, you. Because if you don't have your stuff worked out, it will get in the way, and your subconscious will either sabotage a good thing or have you run away to feel safe. That's something I'm sure you don't want.

So what does it take to create and sustain a relationship?

• identify your patterns first, so you don't reject the "right" person in favour of a trauma bond

• be mindful of your wounding, so you don’t ignore long term compatibility because of fleeting chemistry

• get to know your inner child, so you don’t project a healing fantasy and attach to potential

• notice which red flags feel like home, so you don’t confuse emotional volatility for passion

• complete unhealthy patterns, so you stop choosing the breakup and makeup cycles instead of safety

• learn to regulate your emotions, so you don’t revert to old coping mechanisms when triggered

• know your standards and needs, so you don’t use expectations to sabotage a connection

• remove the walls around your vulnerability so you can create intimacy

• learn boundaries, so you stop tolerating pain or even abuse in the name of not feeling rejected

• put more focus on how you feel around them, not the idea of being chosen

If you don’t address your own patterns, they will get in your way, and you will blame luck, fate, toxic people, dating apps and anything else to avoid looking at how your subconscious is ruling your life.

Contrary to the fantasy of "meeting the one," relationships magnify what's already within us. If you haven't made a start on your part, the new lessons will pile up on top of everything else, not magically make things better.

Relationships are built, not found, and you are the foundation🧡