Relationships aren’t always easy but they don’t have to be hard
Are you tired of being alone or permanently worrying about your relationship?
Maybe you seem to be meeting the same person over and over in different bodies?
Is conflict a problem in your couple?
Do you get shut down when you express your feelings?
Perhaps you or your partner find the intensity of your feelings overwhelming?
Or your relationships seem to mysteriously fall apart after reaching a certain level of depth?
Is vulnerability and intimacy unnatural to you?
Do you find that drama and chaos somehow always find you?
Have you been and are finding it difficult to trust?
You’re in the right place!
It’s never too late rewrite old patterns, learn healthy relationship skills and create a secure and connected relationship.
While my Master’s Degree and the decade-plus of professional coaching gave me the skills and experience to help you get the best results, I believe that the majority of my expertise (and my ability to relate to you so closely) comes from my own, personal journey.
Many of us, like myself were not modelled healthy relationships and missed out on those important life skills. I took many wrong turns and had to learn all my relationship skills from scratch, as well as heal a severely anxious attachment style. The road I took to get to where I am today has not been easy. Everyone has their own story. I like to share mine here with my clients to show you that I truly understand how you feel, everything is possible, and am here to help you get back to the real you!
A long-ish story…
happy endings often have sad beginnings…
I am so happy and fulfilled in my life now, that sometimes I feel as if this story is about a completely different woman.
I always felt like something was missing, or not quite right, with my life. Struggling became my routine. My mental health was under constant pressure, I was anxious, depressed, and felt like a passenger rather than the driver of my own destiny. Often my ideas of love, joy and fulfilment were labeled as foolish, with others seemingly having a better idea of how I should live my life.
I did my best to conform. Gave up on my hopes and dreams. Kept friendships and relationships that diminished me and chipped away at my soul. I started to believe that I would never be happy, and that I was not worthy of true love.
My personal breaking point was when an 11 year relationship I had settled for ended abruptly with an affair, pregnancy loss and a divorce. I felt I had failed at everything society dictates a woman should do, and began a downward spiral that led me to the darkest of places. A diagnosis of clinical depression, PTSD, and anxiety - the treatment of which addressed the symptoms, but not the underlying, nagging problems. I numbed my feelings with substances, blowing my savings on shopping, and attending countless therapy sessions. On the surface I had a smile on my face, a good job, I was busy and active, but I was running on autopilot. I was lonely, crumbling, and so focused on staying alive that I was not actually living.
Just when I started feeling like my old self again I fell for a man who I believe would be diagnosed as a narcissist if her ever tried to get help. This relationship took for an even bigger spin than my divorce did. I was emotionally abused, cheated on and taken advantage off for a year. That year caused more damage than anything else I’ve experienced and ultimately led to my biggest breakdown.
At the time, I wish I had known that this stretch of darkness would be the catalyst to reshape my future for the better.
One day I got tired of it. I started reading and listening to everything with the potential to help me. I changed my mindset and took action. I found teachers, joined groups, discovered meditation, I pushed myself out of my comfort zone. The light inside me started shining again, giving me the courage to dive deeper, read more books, take further courses, and invest in the best coaches, mentors, and guides. It was not always a glamorous process; frequently, it was demanding, frightening, and strenuous. Often I did not feel like doing the work, scared of the shadows I would uncover, but the results and end goals kept me going.
I learned there was as much science as magic behind love and relationships, and that it is never too late to find a loving, conscious connection. I geeked out on everything I could discover about being the best partner possible and creating the relationship I so desired, and knew I could have. This is when I found out about different attachment styles and, so much of my relational life finally made perfect sense. You can imagine how very handy this came when I eventually met my avoidantly attached fiancé, as I was leaning anxious!
A new chapter began and I could feel myself stepping into my power, leaving behind the victim mentality, becoming the best version of me, and taking control of my circumstances
Over three years, my life was entirely transformed; I lost all the medical diagnoses and no longer needed prescriptions. I let go of many things, including places and people but mostly my old self and unhelpful stories. I changed my friendship circle, quit bad habits, created new ones, I felt alive again, and my wellbeing was tangible! When I was ready, I found the love I always dreamed of, and I am now happily married, in a relationship that’s better than I could have imagined.
Through my profound experience, I discovered my gifts and calling as a coach, mentor, a woman's woman and an attachment alchemist. Having achieved so much inspired me to give back, and as I kept helping other women on their transformative journeys, my own coaching practice evolved. My dream for you is that the journey from where you are now to true joy and creating the extraordinary relationship you are worthy of, takes months or weeks instead of years.
Through my experience and practice, I have developed systems, strategies, personalised tools, and practical actions to help get you to your destination faster and easier. If you are feeling broken and at the rock bottom, I want to high five you because from here, the transformation you go through can be unbelievable. I can’t promise it will always be easy, but I can promise that I will be with you every step of the way and it certainly will be worth it.
