Still checking your ex's social media?

Please quit torturing yourself like this.

I can hear you justifying it. "I simply want to check that he is okay," "I just want to see how the puppies are doing." It's all bogus.

You're just driven by a compulsion to experience the same rush of thrill and pain, the same chemical cocktail your body always produces when you come into contact with him. You're feeling better, and calmer; you're living your life, and that's not familiar yet, so your brain suggests you take actions that will bring back what it's used to.

You are not going to get relief, reassurance that you made the right decision or any sort of closure. You will just experience emotional turbulence, which is also what you really are after.

These heightened emotions give you an out from facing the discomfort of your deeper feelings and doing the inner work that will help you move on. Giving in to this temptation will always make you feel worse, not better because you're bread-crumbing yourself here.

Unless you want to stay stuck and keep repeating the same patterns, you have to start making choices as your wise, conscious, best self instead of letting your subconscious run the show.

Whenever you resist the impulse to check on your ex, each time you choose yourself instead, you are reinforcing a new pattern. One that affirms that you come first in your life.

Decide to resist checking on your ex. Learn calming and grounding techniques to use in a moment of need. Place one hand on your heart and affirm: "I am safe, and I choose me." Journal about how is checking on your ex serving you. What is it helping you to avoid addressing?