Relationships end a long time before the breakup happens

Break-ups are complex, nuanced, and hard to navigate, but for this post, I'll break them down into two types: reactive and mindful.⁣

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💔 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗯𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗸𝘂𝗽𝘀 happen in the heat of the moment when emotions are high, and one or both people are triggered or overwhelmed, and just can't take it anymore. At the time it seems like the only way to create safety.⁣

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⚠️These break-ups don't always stick. When they do they are hard to recover from because of the number of loose ends.⁣

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💔 Today’s post is about 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗱𝗳𝘂𝗹 𝗯𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗸𝘂𝗽𝘀 which happen over time, where multiple ruptures go unrepaired, eroding closeness and trust. The once-strong connection fades away, partners feel frustrated and resentful, and thought and planning goes into ending the relationship.⁣

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💭 The loss of someone we shared life and memories hurts and brings a range of difficult-to-navigate emotions. One way we run away from them is into our thoughts.⁣

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😞 It's easy to blame yourself for all that went wrong. You start obsessing over that one thing you could have done better, and trick yourself into thinking the relationship was perfect except for that one mistake. That can't be true. If it were perfect, it wouldn't have ended.⁣

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With time, distance, and rumination, our memories become coloured and distorted as we romanticise the past, making it seem better than it was. ⁣

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Breakups are hard, even when they are intentional and planned, so take time to grieve the relationship and your hopes for the future. ⁣

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The breakups that are hardest to process are those where we sacrificed too much of ourselves, and it still didn't work out. It can be challenging to understand why we abandoned ourselves so much, and it still wasn't enough. ⁣

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Instead of romanticizing the past, focus on growing from the experience and moving forward in an empowered way. Don't forget, you were a whole person before the relationship, during it, and after it. You can heal from this and move on to have a happy, fulfilling life, with or without your ex.⁣

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If you are currently going through a breakup,  I see you and I am sending you love. ⁣