Relationships don't come with cruise control
You have to participate in your relationship.
The temptation is to go through the motions since everything seems to be working just fine. The road is wide and clear, so you want to wack on cruise control and stop paying as much attention.
However, your relationship is a living, breathing entity, and you should treat it as such.
Putting your relationship on autopilot runs the risk of making you stop paying attention. You don't notice the little changes. You stop doing the small things. You miss the opportunities for the micro shifts that have a major impact.
It seems like a sudden shock when you're not paying attention and hit unexpected conflicts or challenges. It catches you off-guard, and you say, "it came out of nowhere." But did it really?
Similar to when you suddenly hit the brakes because you were distracted from the road for long enough to miss the light turning red.
Accidents happen when we are not paying attention.
Instead of risking your relationship crashing on autopilot:
establish a routine of checking in on each other and your relationship frequently.
If something feels off, communicate it.
Check if both of your needs are being met; don't just assume that they are.
create rituals of connection that work best for your couple
Don't brush things under the rug, have uncomfortable conversations.
remember to also delight in each other and celebrate your relationship's successes.
How do you nurture your relationship, so it doesn't drive itself?