Pockets Of Joy
The same beach, two life chapters merged into one story.
It's never lost on me that the place where I have so much fun now is also the place where my dark night of the soul finally cracked me open. I whisper my thanks every time I'm here.
What both these chapters have in common is animals and nature, my teachers and healers.
During my darkest and loneliest days, I had just them for a lifeline. From dogs alone, we can learn how to harvest joy. They are masters of this skill. Have you ever pondered just how happy dogs are? And how much in the moment they live? This is not a coincidence. It's easier to be joyful when we live in the moment.
How much happiness can a dog get from a ball?! When I'd cry, Dahlia used to drop her ball at my feet repeatedly until I noticed, played with her and cheered up. And it worked. She'd bring me back into the present moment, and my nervous system would feed off her happy one. She's still the emotional support dog today. When she senses emotions other than love and joy, she immediately brings a toy as a reminder of all the happiness available if we choose to notice it.
When Romeo hurt his leg, he didn't let it dampen his spirits at all. He was just as happy to run around and play on three legs had we let him. The glass is always half full from a dog's view.
I can honestly say that I learned harvesting pockets of joy from dogs. I started actively seeking and enjoying things that would make me happy. Those were not necessarily big things, just small pockets of joy where I could find them:
a walk in nature
finding all the local ponds for Dahlia to swim in
chatting with friends
a day at a nice beach
hiking trips to interesting places I googled
walking barefoot on grass
my favourite snacks
solo trips with Dahlia to Wales
cooking from scratch
buying myself flowers and plants
decorating my surroundings
I even ate my favourite Panang Thai curry from every restaurant in my city. Just to know which one is the best. This knowledge came in very handy when I started dating again!
More and more, I allowed myself to blow these moments of joy up inside me and immersed myself in the feelings. With time, joy became more familiar to me than anything else. I still consciously planned activities that would bring it, but I started noticing that I would subconsciously seek it. And as when you seek you shall find, I'd always succeed. The chemical concoction of hormones and whatnots my body and mind were used to receive shifted, and joy became the new norm.
It doesn't happen overnight but you can change old patterns and overcome emotional addictions.
Your happiness is not found in another person. It cannot depend on your partner; that's a too big burden for anyone to carry. Your happiness is found in you. Joy and love are your birthrights. You were born with them, then unlearned them over the course of your life. Time to reclaim them🧡
What are your pockets of joy? Or what could they be if you don't have them yet?