Are You Really Busy, Or Are You Dissociating?

Are you really that busy, or are you so uncomfortable staying in the present with your thoughts, feelings, emotions and bodily sensations that you'd do anything to zone out?

No judgement here. I used to dissociate like a boss🙋🏻‍♀️ I may still revert to it at times when I get overwhelmed with uncomfortable emotions.

We learn that being busy is a good thing. We're even told to keep busy to take our minds off things, which is the exact opposite of what we should do with emotions if we want to be emotionally and mentally healthy. Today we have so many tools for dissociating with Netflix or social media scrolling that we can stay completely out of our awareness all day long.

Dissociation is a safety strategy we developed as children. It was a very smart move too. We couldn't really fight or run away from an emotionally volatile parent, so we froze. And we learned to space out. To not fully experience the fear, stress or sadness. To not feel the racing heart or tight chest. Instead, we went away a little at times of emotional distress.

While this was a smart strategy for a child, as adults we know that suppressing and repressing our emotions instead of processing them can lead to a whole host of problems. Your mental health and relationships may suffer greatly. You may settle for situations that don't serve you, or you may self-sabotage. While you may be able to go away consciously, your body will store the unprocessed emotions, and they will resurface in various ways at different times.

These safety strategies feel so natural to us that they can go unnoticed. The first step to change is always awareness and acceptance. Journaling can help you spot when you dissociate. From here, you can choose to stay aware and notice the discomfort. Notice how it feels and where is it located in your body. Meditation, breathing, yoga, visualisation and mindfulness are wonderful tools to help you stay present. And of course, nothing beats working with a trauma-informed therapist or coach.

I know it's uncomfortable. Healing often is. I just promise you it's worth it🧡