Is fear of abandonment and rejection sabotaging your relationships?

Do you know how good we are at avoiding the things we fear?

The subconscious has an assortment of ninja moves that can swap one potential source of pain for another.

When you are scared of being rejected or abandoned, your subconscious fiercely shields you from this hurt and replaces it with something else, such as keeping you single.

When in a relationship, that same protective pattern will set off the behaviours that sabotage it, and drive the other person away before they have a chance to abandon you.

We're very smart like that.

Safety and avoiding suffering must come first. I hear you say that you are in pain right now, and I understand, but your subconscious patterns have a hierarchy. The anguish of being alone is viewed as suffering you can survive if rejection or abandonment are your greatest fears.

Love is the most tender thing we can do.

It's vulnerable.

It takes action and dedication.

No guarantees are offered.

It requires an open heart.

And an open heart can be broken.

If you find yourself picking fights or finding flaws in your romantic interests, if you're acting out character and pushing them away, or if you're finding ample reasons for why relationships are not working out for you, some subconscious fear is at play.

You are worthy of love, there are plenty of good people out there, but to love is risky, and your subconscious knows it.

What are you willing to risk for it? A few bad dates? Vulnerability? A heartbreak?

What are you willing to do for it? Some introspection? Inner work? A change?

Once you become aware of the patterns that are running your life, nothing is stopping you from changing them. I believe in you.

I’m here to support you when you’re ready.