Benefits on an Anxious Attachment Style

An anxious attachment style is not all bad. Here’s a list of perks:

• a relationship champion

• willing to do the relational work

• an advocate for connection

• prioritises the relationship

• the first one to notice the need for and seek support

• less likely to give up in rough waters

• attuned to and anticipates partner’s needs

• loyal and devoted

• helps a partner feel good about themselves

• accepting and forgiving

• reliable and generous with time and affection

• thoughtful and nurturing

• emotionally intelligent

• likely to put partner’s needs first

• able to connect deeply

What’s not to love, right?

Being insecurely attached is not all bad. In reality, many of the resulting adaptive strategies are in fact superpowers.

As anxious attachers for example, we tend to view our partners in a much better light than we do ourselves, and we help them see themselves the way we see them.

Of course, there are challenges on the other side of this coin which is why we strive towards becoming secure but I want you to know that you have many strengths too.

I believe that moving from an insecure pattern to an earned secure attachment adds more value to a relationship than being secure from the get-go. It's termed "earned secure" because we worked for it. And once we get there, we still have our innate superpowers!