I want a relationship like that

"I want to have a relationship where we look at each other the way you and Marcus do." - a friend said to me.

And I get it. I absolutely understand how someone who knows us as a couple sees us as the lucky two who "found each other". We are very much in love, we are partners and best friends. We are affectionate, supportive and appreciative of one another. We have a great relationship and it shows.

What you don't see is what went into it and what still goes into it.

We both had a bunch of failed relationships before.

We both recognised that we needed help and reached out for support.

We both had therapy.

We both had and are still having coaching.

We both do our inner work.

We don't ignore our trauma, we talk about it.

We attend to the relationship.

We practice awareness.

We choose each other every day.

We tackle conflict in a way that brings us closer, not leads us to resentment.

We don't always do things perfectly.

We don't "save" each other.

We repair.

We practice love.

Our relationship is not always even and we don't expect it to be.

We don't expect to things magically happen, we make them magical.

When we met, we didn't know where our relationship would lead us, we just knew that we had something special and were going to give it our all. We keep doing just that.

My fantasy of meeting someone who makes everything magically fall into place never came true, because that person was always me. I had to meet and save myself. I had to realise that the common denominator in my failed relationships was me, not them. I had to stop running away from that awareness and run right into it instead. That's when everything started changing, just like it can for you.

Now, I see myself as a piece of art - I am the masterpiece of my life and I can't wait to see how much more I will grow and change. How much better a partner will I become? How much more myself?

Love is feeling.

Love is practice.

Love is an action and a choice.

You are the masterpiece and the artist.

Yes, you can absolutely have a relationship like ours🧡