Do you fear abandonment, intimacy or rejection?

If you have a fear of abandonment, intimacy or rejection you will pick flaws in every partner. Current, future and potential. And YOU will get in the way of YOU having a great relationship. You will pick unavailable people, you will stir the pot, you will start fights, you will make yourself difficult to love.

All that is to protect yourself from the very thing you fear the most: being seen and potentially rejected for who you are.

If you come to me expecting groundbreaking dating strategies and hypnotic conversation scripts, you may be surprised by my inside-out approach to relationships.

My coaching is you-focused because you are the common denominator in your love life. I'd be a rubbish coach if I'd support external blame instead of empowering you to take the reins.

The truth is that your relationship with yourself sets the tone for all others, and until you heal your wounds, you'll attract or repel relationships based on them.

You won't find the right partner until you become one first. The healthy relationship material you are looking for is someone who takes responsibility for their side and their growth has a high emotional intelligence and is comfortable with vulnerability.

Nobody is flawless; you don't have to be enlightened or entirely healed since that's impossible. You must be conscious of the patterns you bring to the table and accept full responsibility for resolving them.

If you're noticing any self-sabotaging or unhealthy behaviours in your relationships:

• Examine where are they coming from.

• What are you afraid of?

• What is the payoff?

• Then take full responsibility for healing it.

It takes time and isn't as easy as we'd want, but the love life you desire is on the other side of your resistance to take ownership of your healing. Support and coaching can help you shift quicker, but still not without effort and discomfort.