Are you doing relationships backwards?

What if I told you that focusing on chemistry first is going about relationships backwards?

We can lose ourselves in the excitement and chemistry as we replay our patterns in pursuit of what our system perceives as familiar, oblivious to the red flag packing it comes in.

Then there are those of us, who will (subconsciously) choose unavailable partners so that we never have to be vulnerable and show our whole selves, remaining hidden behind our "safety persona".

You seem to be choosing the same partner in different bodies because our brains are wired for repetitive compulsion. We seek out and repeat the same lessons trying to master them. You're choosing them because their red flags match your previous life experiences and therefore feel like home.

Disclaimer: you don't choose abuse. That is never on you.

Your love life and relationships don't just happen to you; you (subconsciously) orchestrate how they unfold.

No matter how unpleasant or uncomfortable it is, don't skip the healing work. Do it, so you can get off the toxic relationship merry-go-round and find a connection that goes the distance.

Every relationship reflects something to address within you, and as you become more conscious of all parts of you, you'll notice the patterns playing out in your relationships.

As you become more conscious of how your past and stories influence everything today, you'll become more interested in someone's self-awareness, availability, and security than the tingle of chemistry.

As you grow, who you are attracted to will change; and you will find yourself drawn to people as conscious as you instead of projecting fantasies onto someone's potential.

I promise you, in a safe and connected relationship, the chemistry is the merry-go-round, not the pain and anxiety.

Do the work. It's more than worth it.