The One About Rhossili - A Story of Love and Hope

This one is such a big part of me, who I am and what I do, I had to write about it. It’s also a big “what would be or not be”, had I never found myself at Rhossili that summer.

During my first visit there, I was someone else - at my lowest point, broken, in more pain than anyone should endure, clinically depressed, hopeless, and so very, very lonely. I felt like I failed at everything in life and neither therapy, nor antidepressants were making a dent in my hurt. I wanted to stop feeling altogether, and the idea of ending it all was never too far from my mind. I practised escaping from thoughts and feelings trough any numbing means possible until I could figure something else out, or until I would miraculously stop hurting.

An old friend heard I’ve been going through a hard time and came to visit from Poland, in the spirit of well, mostly spirits. After a few days of mind-numbingly partying in Brighton we had the brilliant idea of travelling up to Snowdonia to visit another friend, who also liked to party. The day we set out on the long drive, he had drunk too much and was not getting back to us. We kept on driving, determined to go to Wales anyway. A hundred or so miles into the drive, as the hangover wore off, we reconsidered our destination as North Wales was a long way to go, so instead I googled “a nice dog beach in south Wales”. I punched the suggested postcode into the sat nav without much thought.

The very moment we arrived at our destination, things started happening. If you have ever been to Rhossili, you know that its magic envelopes you even before getting out of the car. Arriving at its mesmerising views takes your breath away when you know where you’re going, imagine arriving there with no clue what you’ll see. I was hypnotised. The thing about Rhossili is that everything about it is vast. The ocean, the cliffs, the green hills, the beach, the nature, the beauty, the magic; it all hits you at once with the strength of thousands magical fairies. Any angle you look from is enchanting. Even the light is different, must be all the pixie dust.

And just like that as I took that vastness in with every breath I felt something else, I actually felt things I did not only not mind feeling, I even enjoyed feeling them, and I wanted to feel them. I felt love. I loved what I was looking at, I loved being there, and I truly loved how I felt, for the first time in years.

I am certain, it is impossible to feel bad at Rhossili, and I am happy to challenge anyone to go there and feel anything else than love and joy.

So we stayed. A few days, not just the afternoon. We managed to find the only available dog-friendly room in an inn at the other end of the beach (this was a miracle on its own, considering it was peak summer). We spent those days walking up and down the beach, walking to the end of Worm’s Head, running in and out of the waves, playing in the rock pools, soaking up every bit of the magic of Rhossili.

On that first day on the beach, I was a little surprised and more than a tad overwhelmed with the new emotions I was experiencing. The hope, light, joy and love were less familiar than the sadness, despair and anxiety of every day I grew accustomed to. Rhossili didn’t end there, as I sat and played on its sand, she handed me a heart, a literal bright heart in the form of a large beach pebble. Back then, I believed in signs, so I took it as such. A sign that love is coming, an omen that I am worthy of love, and that true love is in fact, possible. I heard a voice telling me “you’re going to be ok, much more than ok”.

More mind clouds have shifted and almost immediately, my “what ifs” changed entirely. “What if I will never be happy” changed to “what if I will be more than happy than ever”. “What if no-one will ever love me”, changed to “what if I find true head over heels love, the kind of puppy love but with an adult twist to it”? What if dreams are there for a reason, and it’s not unreasonable to dream? After all, if I can find a place like this by accident, what else is possible?

Everything started changing thanks to those few days at Rhossili Bay, and my healing truly began. That’s not to say it was plain sailing; I put effort into it. I found support, I read books, I watched videos, I hired coaches, I took courses. I took action, and I took breaks, I took wrong turns, I had no map, just faith. I made steps forwards and sometimes backwards, I kept going, I knew I could. I found my spirituality, my version of it, one that resonates with me and works for me. I became me. Bit by bit, the clouds went away, and I can hardly remember the girl I was before. Eventually, I was to give back and start helping other women on similar journeys. Back then, I would never believe you if you told me that one day it would be me, lifting and empowering others.

Rhossili is still my favourite place in the world, my happy place, my magic place. I come back here in most of my meditations to this day, I see its sights, I feel the sand under my feet, and let its magic fill my soul. Rhossili is where I manifested Marcus, and he knows that that’s where and how he was created - and no birds and bees talk will convince me otherwise. How else could I explain that I had my breakthrough at Rhossili in July and he arrived in the UK from Australia that same summer in August? Rhossili knew. Disclaimer - we met years later.

What a difference time can make. Now my happy place is much closer than just being the background of my laptop. It’s close enough for a weekend dog walk, it’s so close that I can go there whenever I like, and whenever I need a top-up, I can see its other end from the window. The heart-shaped pebble travelled with me back to Brighton and Hove and now lives back in Wales, in our new home. A constant reminder of the love and hope I found on that breathtaking bay, when I had none.

Now, all these years later I soaked in Rhossili with the man I love more than I knew it’s possible, living the life she once told me I could. Words cannot describe the experience of being there while being in his arms. I smiled as I saw him taking pictures at every step, because like me all those years ago, he was yet to discover that you could take all the photos from all the angles and there will still be more to take. As I watched him enchanted by the beauty and charm of our surroundings, just like me, I whispered to Rhossili, “thank you, thank you, thank you”. 

If you’ve read to the end, I hope this story reminds you never to give up. And if you feel like giving up, take a trip and visit the fairies of Rhossili Bay, message me, I’ll meet you there.