How many chances are you going to give someone who didn't deserve the first one?

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you're desperately holding onto the idea that things will change if you only work harder? Maybe you're hoping that a certain person in your life will finally start meeting your needs or that your efforts will finally pay off. If so, you're not alone.

Many of us have an inner child that holds onto the belief that if we try harder or wait long enough, things will change for the better. We cling to the hope that this must be the time it will work out, right? The truth is, if someone wanted to make the effort, they would. If they don't, it's not your job to change their mind or persuade them to join you in being emotionally open, invested, and ready to give and receive love.

The reality is that not everyone is able or willing to meet your needs, and that's okay. Some people just help us see clearer what those needs are. It's important to take a step back and evaluate whether the person you're investing your time and energy into is even coming close to meeting your values, needs, boundaries, and dreams.

If you find yourself going back and forth handing out chances in the hopes of receiving a different answer than the one you got the first few rounds, it's time to stop. The inconsistency, unreliability, flakiness, and toxic patterns are your answer. They are your sign to reinvest your energy and effort into yourself.

Your job is to heal and nurture yourself, so the people you choose to share your heart with can reflect your transformed inner self. It's not your responsibility to heal someone else's traumas or fix them so they can love you fully. When you take the time to heal and grow, the people you choose to let into your life will reflect your changed inner world.

It's easy to get caught up in the cycle of hoping and waiting for change. But, as the saying goes, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Stop going back for the same poison that hurt you the first time. Instead, focus on yourself, your healing, and your growth. When you do, the right people will come into your life, and you'll be ready to share your heart with them.