Breaking the Illusion: From Infatuation to Real Love
It's happened to most of us. We meet someone new, and they seem to be everything we've ever wanted. We fall hard and fast, convinced we've found the one. But then, reality sets in, and we realize we were infatuated with a fantasy, not in love with the real person.
It was your love, your energy, AND your projections that made them seem so special.
The intense, premature attachment to someone originates in some form of relational trauma. We retreat into our minds as a distraction from our pain and unmet needs. The mind becomes a distraction we retreat to from our own selves.
Your inner child hopes that this partner is the one who will heal everything for you. You don't notice when you become dependent on your projected expectations.
It's when you start planning your wedding on the second date.
Or when you downplay the abuse you endure.
It's when you carefully curate what you tell your friends, so they don't burst your bubble when they notice how toxic things are.
But when you're attached only to a version of someone that only exists in your mind, you can't actually connect with them.
Infatuation is not love
Breadcrumbs are not love
Push-pull rollercoaster, definitely not.
If you're chasing it, fighting for it, or proving you're worthy of it - it's not it.
We deceive ourselves into believing it was love when all it was an attachment to the picture we made.
Behind that picture a plain old trauma bond, perhaps with a romanticised twin flame story attached to it. The twin flame angle helps to romanticise the reluctance to let go and perpetuates the cycle.
Let's put an end to wishful thinking and address the reality of how things are so they can actually become what you want them to be.
Stop focusing on someone in the hope that they will fulfil all of your needs, allowing you to ignore reality or forget the past.
Turn your attention back to yourself.
Your healing.
Your needs.
Your dreams
Your very own love own love.
When you take control, your subconscious stops running the show, and you start moving in line with your conscious goals for the future.
Are you tired of chasing illusions and settling for breadcrumbs? It's time to break free from the cycle of infatuation and start building real love. Let's work together to heal your wounds, clarify your values and goals, and create a vision for the kind of relationship you truly deserve. Contact me for a coaching session and start your journey towards real love today.