About the good morning and good night texts...
Hi, my name is Marta, and my superpower is busting commercialised romance myths and empowering you to create conscious, secure, and loving relationships.
Today, I'm popping the "good morning / good night SMS" bubble because I can't stand how much weight we put on it when judging the quality of a connection any longer. Can we just scrap it from dating entirely, please and thank you.
Hear me out. This whole texting game doesn't have nearly as much value as you believe. People have various communication preferences and texting habits, which have no bearing on the quality of said communication or the depth of the connection.
In fact, many over-communicators have unhealthy relationship patterns; and to top it off, every toxic person knows how to use words to their advantage and will tell you exactly what you want to hear, causing you to interpret their texts exactly how they intended you to when there is no substance behind their messages.
Rather than overthinking his texts, tune into these in yourself:
What does your body feel like in his presence? Do you stiffen up or relax a little?
How's your nervous system doing? Do you feel safe, or are you noticing a stress response activation?
Are you entirely present, or are you dissociating future hopping, or projecting expectations?
And pay more attention to these in him:
Are his words and actions aligned? Is he following through and congruent?
How emotionally available is he? Is he willing to connect, be known, and get to know you, or is the communication stuck on a surface level?
How conscious is he of his needs and emotions, and how does he communicate them?
How does he speak to and about others?
What do you pay attention to when it comes to dating and relationships?