9 Signs Your Troubled Relationship Still Has a Chance
A rocky chapter doesn’t necessarily mean your relationship is doomed. Highs and lows are a natural part of any meaningful relationship, especially one that’s been through real life together.
I’ve worked with couples who were on the brink of giving up and still found their way back to each other. Not by chance, but through mutual effort, emotional courage, and repair.
That said, not every relationship can (or should) be saved. So how do you know if yours still has the potential to heal and grow?
Here are 9 signs that even in the midst of struggle, your relationship is still worth working on.
1. You feel safe enough to express how you feel, even when it’s uncomfortable.
In tense or uncertain moments, it can feel easier to shut down or avoid conflict altogether. But true healing begins with emotional safety, the kind that makes vulnerability possible.
You don’t need to feel completely calm or unafraid to speak up, but you do need to know that your voice won’t be met with contempt or punishment. That safety is the first step toward repair.
2. Each partner takes full responsibility for their own part in the dynamic.
Relationships are never one-person problems.
In healthy repair, both partners are willing to own their 50% - their behaviours, their blind spots, their impact, without defensiveness or blame-shifting. When this happens, real change becomes possible.
3. Effort and change are mutual, not one-sided.
Even with the best intentions, one person alone can’t transform a relationship dynamic.
In relationships that improve over time, both partners are actively invested, taking initiative, making changes, and showing through actions (not just words) that they care about the future of the relationship.
4. Conflict is followed by repair, not resentment or contempt.
Not every disagreement ends in perfect resolution. That’s okay.
What matters most is whether conflict leads to understanding, acceptance, or repair, or if it lingers and festers into disconnection.
Ongoing resentment and unspoken bitterness are like rust: subtle at first, but corrosive over time.
5. Positive shifts are met with openness, not indifference.
In relationships with long-term potential, when one partner takes a healthy step forward (like setting a boundary, expressing a need, or trying something new), the other partner doesn’t ignore it or mock it.
They engage with the effort. They follow. They meet the moment.
6. You’re not abandoning yourself or trying to fix your partner just to make it work.
Working on a relationship doesn’t mean losing yourself in the process.
If staying connected means silencing your needs or trying to become your partner’s caretaker, the cost may be too high.
In resilient couples, both people get to be fully themselves, and the relationship doesn’t require self-abandonment to survive.
7. You communicate to understand, not to win.
In moments of conflict, the goal isn’t to be right, it’s to be real.
Couples who weather the storm successfully prioritize listening, empathy, and emotional clarity over proving a point. They speak to express, not to convince.
8. There’s empathy and concern for each other’s needs, even when they’re different.
You don’t need to relate to your partner’s feelings to care about them.
Strong relationships are marked by a willingness to stretch, to try to understand each other’s inner world, even when it feels foreign.
It’s not about always agreeing. It’s about saying, “I see that this matters to you, and that matters to me.”
9. On balance, your positive moments still outweigh the negative ones.
Think of your relationship as a kind of emotional bank account.
According to research, thriving couples have a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative interactions, five meaningful, connective moments for every one that’s difficult.
No relationship is perfect, but the overall balance matters. If joy, care, and connection are still in the mix, even during hard times, you may have something worth fighting for.
Not every relationship can be repaired, and staying in one that’s harmful or unsafe isn’t a badge of honour.
But if you’re both willing, and the conditions are right, struggle can be a turning point, not the end of the road.
What matters most is how you move through the difficult seasons: together, with honesty, accountability, and emotional presence.
Healing is hard. But it’s possible. And sometimes, on the other side of the storm, there’s a stronger, more authentic love than either of you imagined.
If you’re navigating a difficult chapter and want support that honours both your truth and your relationship, coaching can help you reconnect, without losing yourself in the process.