If your blueprint is chaos...

When chaos feels like home, stillness can be unsettling and frightening, or at best, boring.

Because our subconscious runs our lives, whatever programming you've gotten throughout your life is still playing out on autopilot today.

The patterns we live by are formed by our experiences, particularly the early ones because at the time, we lack a filter, and everything registers as facts: that's how the world works; that's how I am; that's how love works; this is what I have to do to be loved. How we show up in the world, how we care for ourselves, the beliefs and boundaries we have, are all conditioned by the accumulation of our met and unmet needs.

If you grew up with emotional neglect and turmoil, you'll instinctively try to recreate it in your life. Even if you know you deserve better on a cognitive level, your subconscious will want you to keep you acting, feeling, and thinking the same way you have in the past.

The discomfort you feel when attempting to change any of your established patterns of behaviour is due to our built-in homeostatic impulse - a drive to remain the same. Your subconscious will try to lure you back to the familiar every time you try something new. To the point that simply thinking about doing something different can make you feel uneasy.

The repeated patterns get so deeply embedded in our identity that anything different feels threatening and you experience such resistance to change that you would rather stubbornly rather defend the unhealthy behaviours than change them. All because your subconscious perceives change as risky.

We can't change that subconscious is in charge; we can change the programing it runs our lives by:

Start by creating a conscious intention to heal.

Practice becoming more present and conscious of what is coming up for you.

Be intentional with showing up with awareness and creating new choices.

Practice and repeat new patterns and behaviours so you can create new subconscious patterns.

While change doesn't happen overnight, with conscious awareness, you can direct your choices and actions. You can make the choice to come off autopilot, change your subconscious patterns and completely reprogram your adulthood.