Embrace each chapter

Embrace each chapter and every part of you.

I'm sure you've heard me talk about how healing relationships are. The kicker is that this isn't true for all of them. Some are (re)traumatising. Many of us have chapters to walk through alone to create one that is healthy and healing.

I call it the caterpillar phase because it can feel isolated, and no one quite notices the work you're putting in. Just wait till they see the butterfly you emerge as!

All the evolving you're doing in your caterpillar phase is an investment in your future relationship. All of it.

This is the place where you repair old wounds.

Suppressed or buried emotions are felt, processed, and released.

You let go of heartbreak.

You grieve what has been lost or what you had hoped for.

You notice what roles you're playing and who you believe you have to be to be loved.

You look at your relationship history and discover the stories behind your choices.

You get to know and nurture your inner child.

You complete the patterns and understand the lessons, so you don't have to keep repeating them.

You're doing all this, so you attract and choose the right partner.

So you won't date as your 14-year-old self, who is attempting to heal an old hurt from bullying by pursuing the most unavailable person out there.

Or so your inner child doesn't try to get a parent's love through an adult relationship.

You're doing this to avoid another trauma bond or a fantasy-based crush.

To find love that's safe, healthy and aligned, you need to change the way you experience love.

Embrace the caterpillar phase, my love. The deeper you settle into your cocoon, the more beautiful a butterfly you'll emerge.

You never see a caterpillar avoiding or judging its time in a cocoon. It's not being alone that's the problem - it's how you relate to it and what you're making it mean about you.

Do you want something to shift faster? Accept it right now. The more you fight for something to change, the more it holds on.